draw a line in the sand

1-29-05
It’s 1:30 in the morning – we are having an ice storm. Internet is down. I’m forced to do something other than chat online or surf the internet. I begin clearing out my hard drive – come across a Christian café profile I had saved. He sounds perfect – just what I would like in a man. But he is not interested in me. I look up his favorite verses – psalms 100 – nice, and 1tim 4 – about false teaching….hmmmm……

I do some more on the computer. Pick up the bible – say God – do you have something to tell me? Open the bible randomly- to Jeremiah 31. Eyes land on the end of verse 22 – “a woman will surround a man.” Intruiging. I read the entire verse, and burst into tears. Jeremiah 31:22 says “How long will you wander, O unfaithful daughter? The Lord will create a new thing on earth – a woman will surround a man.” The MESSAGE version says “How long will you flit here ad there, indecisive? How long before you make up your fickle mind? GOD will create a new thing in this land: A transformed woman will embrace the transforming GOD!” God – creator of the entire universe – the one who puts and keeps all things in motion – the orchestrator of life itself – has spoken DIRECTLY to me. It is UNMISTAKABLE.

I have been on my OWN path for months now – hopping back to God’s path for a short while now and then, but running back to mine quite quickly. I have been searching for man’s pleasures rather than God’s joy, and my life is quite the testimony to that. A wise man recently told me that I am trying to fill my life with something that ONLY God can fill. He is so right. I have thought of that statement more than he will ever realize – God has been using him in my life in a powerful way. I have never met this man, but I have an amazing respect for him – he is not perfect, and stumbles just like the rest of us, but he is continually getting up again and again, taking Jesus’ hand, and walking with Him.

Tonite I draw the line in the sand. Tonite is the new dawning for me. I know I need Jesus to walk beside me each step of the way in my life. Even as I am living life and knowingly sinning, I am constantly aware that “someday soon” I need to return to God and get back on HIS path. Yet I continue on my way. Am I so arrogant to think that He will allow me to continue as I have been without consequences to my actions? Perhaps the consequences won’t be “dire” or what I may expect, but perhaps the loss of opportunity to be involved in changing a life, or sharing Jesus with someone, or even meeting the man He has chosen for me. What have I been missing by living my life as I have seen fit – as opposed to living the life He has chosen for me? I will not know unitl I reach Heaven, and I almost pray that I never know the opportunities lost.

I thank God that I have such an incredible and understanding father. One who welcomes me back with open arms, and says – “Quick, bring the best robe and put it on her. Put a ring on her finger and sandals on her feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this daughter of mine was dead and is alive again; she was lost and is found.” (Parable in Luke 15:11-32) I am only worthy of my lineage in Christ because of Christ’s blood that he spilled for me, and God’s grace and mercy on me by allowing Christ to pay the dues of my sin.

Lord God, I don’t know how I will make the transition from MY path to YOURS without your guidance and strength. I already have plans to take my path that will affect others, and I can’t imagine how I will tell them I am no longer on that path. God I am counting on you to show me, and speak and act through me. I trust you will work it out. Thank you for your love, and I praise and worship you for who you are – my creator and God.