living in fear no more
wow - did i just have an eye opener! I'm not sure what spurred it on or even made me think about it - maybe it's the whole "love is in the air" thing about valentine's day and being a single woman. Whatever it was, I really have a new outlook on love, relationships, marriage and children. Still a bit scary and new, but I also have a freedom that I didn't really feel before, but having let go of this stuff and giving it to God!
For years now I have been content in my singleness. Sometimes it would be nice to have a partner, maybe a child; but for the most part, I have not felt I was lacking anything by being single. God has been able to use me and move me in ways He could not have done if I was married or had children.
Part of why I have not really "wanted" or desired to get married is because of the unknown. I've seen so many situations where when the couple met, they were both serving God and moving forward in the same direction. Then somehow, someway, one or both of them change, and stop keeping the focus on God, and the relationship falls apart. Divorce. Sometimes there are children involved. Sometimes there are not. As a result of this scenario, I have been very leary of any long term relationships - and rightly so I thought. But for whatever reason, I now see that this way of thinking is simply based on fear and lack of trust in God!
Basically, my thinking that "I can't tell if someone will change or not in the future and we may end up divorced, and I don't want to give someone that much power in my life" is saying that God isn't in control, but I am. It basically insinuates that I am in control of my life and can make the outcomes as I choose. Obviously this is ridiculous, and by me even "trying" to be in control and steer the rudder, I am missing out on countless blessings that God may have for me.
So, while I am still content in my singleness, I am also trying to remember that God is in control and has a MUCH bigger plan than my life encompasses. I will try to live my life willing to risk and love and open my heart. Being vulnerable and real is what Jesus has called us to - in all of our relationships. This doesn't mean being stupid, but rather breaking down that wall of defense around my heart and being willing to open up, even with the possibiltiy of hurt. I trust that God is in control and knows and love me, and wants to keep my safe in his arms. There is no better place to be.
For years now I have been content in my singleness. Sometimes it would be nice to have a partner, maybe a child; but for the most part, I have not felt I was lacking anything by being single. God has been able to use me and move me in ways He could not have done if I was married or had children.
Part of why I have not really "wanted" or desired to get married is because of the unknown. I've seen so many situations where when the couple met, they were both serving God and moving forward in the same direction. Then somehow, someway, one or both of them change, and stop keeping the focus on God, and the relationship falls apart. Divorce. Sometimes there are children involved. Sometimes there are not. As a result of this scenario, I have been very leary of any long term relationships - and rightly so I thought. But for whatever reason, I now see that this way of thinking is simply based on fear and lack of trust in God!
Basically, my thinking that "I can't tell if someone will change or not in the future and we may end up divorced, and I don't want to give someone that much power in my life" is saying that God isn't in control, but I am. It basically insinuates that I am in control of my life and can make the outcomes as I choose. Obviously this is ridiculous, and by me even "trying" to be in control and steer the rudder, I am missing out on countless blessings that God may have for me.
So, while I am still content in my singleness, I am also trying to remember that God is in control and has a MUCH bigger plan than my life encompasses. I will try to live my life willing to risk and love and open my heart. Being vulnerable and real is what Jesus has called us to - in all of our relationships. This doesn't mean being stupid, but rather breaking down that wall of defense around my heart and being willing to open up, even with the possibiltiy of hurt. I trust that God is in control and knows and love me, and wants to keep my safe in his arms. There is no better place to be.
posted by Alaskan Deb @ 10:36 AM
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